


Invisible to the Heart

by WhiteDamon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Oedipal Issues, POV Alternating, POV Outsider, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-26
Updated: 2012-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-30 04:25:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteDamon/pseuds/WhiteDamon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Only a few people know how to see things as they are. Some perceive only what they want to see, others what they are showed." Dean throught the eyes of others. </p><p>This fic is a translation of one of my older, french-written fics. My amazing beta did all the good translating work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invisible to the Heart

If they respected the Winchesters (from afar - as experience has proved you better let the three men alone if you wanted to extend your life expectancy), hunters didn't like Sam, just like they hadn't liked his father. Whatever Bobby Singer might say, a guy who destroyed everything on his path to avenge a woman dead for years was just crazy (and dangerous). As for Sam, a demon-blood addict who single-handedly started _a fucking Apocalypse_ definitely couldn't be regarded as someone trustworthy.

On the contrary, Dean was pretty popular among their small community. The other hunters recognized his dedication, appreciated his reliability and his ability to knock out anything (including things that shouldn't be able to move in the first place). Out of hunts, his impressive drinking abilities, his poker skills, his incredibly funny way to raise girls and his cynical humor made Dean a great companion to spend a pleasant evening with, which contrasted sharply with the rest of their generally dull and not very cheerful lives. Over the years, young people who entered the business had their ears ringing of Dean Winchester, unrepentant flirt, extraordinary tracker, who killed his first werewolf at fourteen, who shot like a marine and, if rumors were to be trusted, who hung out with a more or less fallen _angel_ (but that, the youth never believed at first - the older hunters just smirked into their beers and waited for those white-beaks to meet Castiel).

However, after the outbreak of the Apocalypse (or the beginning of the second one ? – the third ?– well, news sure were _confusing_ as Hell those days), the other hunters no longer knew what to think of Dean. Dean spoke of Hell as if he had gone down there – rumors ran, noises that Sam and he had died and _come back_ several times, which was both ridiculous and terrifying. The late Pastor Jim had more or less raised Dean, but now the boy blasphemed non-stop - when asked to _shut the fuck up_ , sneered bitterly that it wasn't worth holding back, God couldn’t care less about humans anyway - and _yes_ , he was fucking sure! When asked if he liked to eat Italian, he replied kindly that yes, certainly, and by the way " _Death had shown him a small restaurant in Chicago whose pizzas are to die for_."

The common hunters' opinion was that between John’s death, his bastard brother and his numerous deaths/resurrections, Dean took one blow too much and has finally gone mad.

(Those who know the truth are surprised he hasn't yet.)

*

In a not-so-distant future, Dean will be regarded as a Saviour, a Enlighted, a Chosen One or a Prophet by almost all human and no-human cults.

A New New Testament, « _the Book of Winchester_ », will be added to the Bible. Hindu temples, pagan altars and Shinto sanctuaries will be raised in his honor. Entire texts of Dharmas and of the Koran will be updated to include the events of his life. As for Judaism, it will know its first schism between those (the majority) who will consider him to be the Messiah awaited since Abraham, and those who will merely regard him as the most important prophet since Moise.

A post-Christian movement entirely devoted to his worship will spread through the USA since Laurence, Kansas. By a few decades, it will count several millions of believers and, by the end of the century, it will become the first religion of the Middle-West.

(If he knew, Dean would hate it.)

*

The angels, particularly Uriel , despised Dean Winchester. This human was a true catalogue of sins: he cheated, lied, drank, killed, fornicated, blasphemed, befriended monsters and, in a general way, acted as a living insult to the Laws of God.

So, nobody understood why Castiel received the order to resurrect him – surely, the bottom of Hell was the fair place for such sinner? But they obeyed, because such was His Will.

Unfortunately, things became worse after that. Dean protected Anna, the fallen angel striped from her grace for rebellion. He covered his impious, blood-demon drinker brother. Even worse! - he dared to refuse to obey angels and Destiny and God's plans and didn’t agree to become Michel's container, in spite of the numerous, increasingly imaginative plans of Uriel. The human claimed that everything wasn't written yet, that the Apocalypse could – had to – be avoided, because it would destroy all the Creation and that could not be good.

(the angels knew they were right and Dean was wrong. The Earth was corrupted and shall be destroyed then rebuilt like the Garden of the beginning. It was written for millenniums and it was His Will.

The angels knew they were right, but the human _believed_. Some of them noticed immediately and that filled them with wonder – he believed the same way first Christians and martyrs did: with an invisible but unmovable faith, brighter than the lies of demons and stronger than the Breeze of Hell.

Dean believed _so much_ in his world it was disconcerting.)

When Dean killed the false prophetess, the angels began to question. The only ones able to kill Apocalypse's creatures were God's servants – the most fervent priests or the Saints. Then _how_...?

Then Dean changed the End, the scenario carefully designed, skillfully planned for _millenniums_ , by stopping the Apocalypse, and the course of History changed.

(When the angels came in front of God, they finally realized the horrible truth: all this time, Dean had served God better than all of them together.)

*

For a long time, john Winchester thought his oldest took after him. Whatever it was - the mono-maniac hate against monsters they hunt, the bone-deep conviction that "family is family – _even if Sam is a god-damn prick_ ", the way they both hold alcohol - Dean seemed to have widely inherited John's character. Other hunters or even civilians, when they met the little boy - and later the young man - burst out of laughing and knocked John's shoulder amicably claiming that the boy sure as hell was his father's spawn.

Dean never rebelled, the way Sam always did at the most possibly annoying time. He endured the military survivalist training with stoicism – or even enthusiasm. He accepted without protesting the harshest necessities of their travelling existence, and somehow managed to make their life funny, easier. He obeyed all orders exactly and still bettered John's plans.

John sometimes was ashamed to rely so much on his oldest son, instead of encouraging him to live his own life ; but it was so _easier_ with Dean than he took the habit, as his boy grew up, to lean on him on practically all aspects of their lives.

It was only much later than John realized that he might not be the parent after whom Dean took the most.

Incredibly cute freckles on Dean's nose? Mean _mean_ right hook? Talent at shooting that almost exceeded John's? Seemingly endless ability to love and to commit sacrifice for his child (because John had stopped deluding himself : Dean was Sammy's parent as much as he was, or more) and to sell his damn soul for those who he loved?

For those who were observant, everything came directly from Mary - and _damn_ but John couldn't help loving his boy even more after he realized that (OK, except for the 'selling his soul' part – but John couldn't exactly blame Dean for that because he had not been a great example.) 

(He knows it's not _right_ , and a father should not play favorite, but John is prouder of Dean than of _anything else_ in his life, including his other children.)

*

Demons both hate and love Dean Winchester.

They hate him because he hates them, as a human rarely has. Most of the time, human people hate them, but with a kind of ...awe. Even priests and hunters, all dedicated to their loss as they are, can't help feeling attracted to them. Demons seduce and horrify humans to the same extent, and are used to be regarded as majestic in their horror, fascinating as Depravity and Danger itself.

Dean hates them as _vermin_ , as rats or flies or cockroaches running across the floor. He considers them like insects, just good enough to be _crushed_ under the soles of his shoes, without a hint of fascination, not an ounce of respect. Demons are not used to be the object of such... scorn.

On the other hand, _dearest_ Dean has such a capacity to _love_ \- and to _suffer_ because of it- that torturing him is both ridiculously easy and unbelievably _enjoyable_.

(During the thirty years he spent in hell, Dean's torturers made the other demons _pay_ to watch.)

*

At first, the fourth Horseman thought Dean was a simple, a mere human being among the billions of other human beings it will mow one day (had mowed for milleniums). All the living beings looked the same to Death - beings whose existence was as brief and fleeting as a spring breeze. Of course, some creatures lasted a bit longer, but in the end, it always ended the same way: all finished in his hands.

Then Death felt ... intrigued, in spite of what it told Dean in the restaurant. The human seemed hopelessly normal, except for his regrettable and quite inappropriate tendency to not _remain dead_. It didn't understand why angels, demons - and even God, apparently – were so set on including him in their Grands Plans, enough to kill and then resurrect him regularly.

The Bet came to its mind as a way to have fun. Death had already proposed it to a few creatures over the time: Hades, Baal, some wizards and - it was a mistake - a German man named Heinrich, who used it to build one of the most elaborate killing-machine Death has ever seen, a big camp in POland named Auswitch-Birkenau.

But none had really suceeded.

Hence Death was stupefied - no, it was never _stupefied_ \- _amazed_ rather - that Dean won. Well, nobody ever _won_ , literally speaking - but it had been a long long _long_ time, centuries, milleniums, entire _eras_ , since another creature hadn't understand Death to that point. Dean _knew_ now - he knew death was neither unfair, nor bad, nor wrong, nor the beginning of something wonderful, nor an end to fear, nor against nature. Death _was_ \- and Dean Winchester _had understood_.

When it learned Dean was going to live for some more time, Death was satisfied.

(Into the endless eternity, there were periods less boring than others. Dean Winchester, in Death's opinion, made things a little more _interesting_.)

*

During the first year he spent at Stanford, Sam saw a psychiatrist twice a week, on his path to become (at least to _pretend_ to be) a normal person. He realized pretty quickly that to speak of his childhood amounted to rant obsessively about his father, who shamelessly took advantage of Dean’s love, of Dean's dedication, Dean who was too conditioned to defend himself, to resist or to leave ...

(And Sam wanted so, _so much_ for Dean to come with him to California, but he had lost against John, he _had lost Dean_ , and perhaps This was what had hurt the most.)

Sam thought Dean was both strong and fragile.

Strong because Dean was obviously able to kick absolutely _anything_ 's ass - but also because as far as Sam could remember, the simple presence of Dean had been enough to make Sam feel absolutely _safe_. Even after he had learned about monsters being real, nothing bad could _ever_ happen to him - because Dean always took care of him (always would).

It was unhealthy, the psychiatrist warned; it was even a particularly twisted form of domination, Sam recognized. But he knew, in his guts, Dean would do anything for him. For God's sake, _he went to hell_ for Sam - he would go back immediately if needed - Sam could ask him to do just about anything and Dean would do it. It was _terrifying_ , that knowledge, almost a burden - but it soothed Sam every time he thought about it, as the most absolute, stable belief in his entire life: Dean loved and protected him, the same way the sky was blue and John was a fucking bastard.

But Dean was also fragile, desperately fragile. Sam had had a terrible shock when his last growth spurt suddenly made him taller than Dean. He realized that he towered his big brother - Dean was small and frail, with hands that seemed horribly little to Sam compared to his own enormous paws, terribly thin bones, soft soft skin and a face that seemed carved into marble, with lips that looked made to suck and _that_ , Sam sick-worried, would probably cause Dean some trouble one day.

(When the others also started to notice Dean’s mouth, face and body, John and Sam decided no one would _ever_ approachtouchhurt him _for that_. John had beaten almost to death men who had loudly expressed their interest for Dean when his eldest son was a teenager - and John didn't feel any guilt, only a sharp, delicious satisfaction. Eleven-years-old Sam shot into hospital the enormous, prone-to-violence captain of the football team of their then-high-school, when he saw the way the other teen _looked at_ Dean and decided something needed to be done to make everybody understand his big brother was _very much off limit_ – Sam never knew how _close_ it was come, and how right he was.

On a mutual (already rare between them) agreement, John and Sam decided that what Dean did not know could not hurt him.

Dean never suspected anything.)

(In his subconscious, buried so deep that even _he_ will probably never realize it, a non-negligible part of Sam sees Dean as his _mother_ , the-one-who-made-consoles-keeps-protects-feeds-warms-teaches-shields-loves-loves- _loves_ -me.

That explains both Sam’s ambiguity towards Dean, and his violent arguments with their father. Sam had made the most _horribly twisted_ Oedipus complex in the history of _psychoanalysis_.)

*

When he came before God, Castiel dared to ask him, timidly, if they were right to follow Dean Winchester and to help stopping the Apocalypse, rather than follow orders of his superiors. Oh!, of course Castiel harbored no illusions : he knew he would undoubtedly be punished for his deeds and his insolence - but he truly wanted to know whether what Dean, Sam, Bobby and he had done was right.

God smiled at him - even if he didn’t have a physical body anymore, Castiel felt his knees tremble - and He answered simply that He made Dean in his image.


End file.
